Welcome back! If you somehow made it here and haven't read Part One of my art journey, be sure and check that out. If you are pressed for time, you can read the abridged version on my site by clicking My Story.
After two years of teaching middle school art and having next to no time to create for myself, I decided it was time to walk away from teaching for the time being. Last Summer we finished up our new home and moved in early October. As soon as we were in the house I was eager to get a workspace set up. I had continued dreaming and praying about what I was supposed to do with the gifts I have been given. I kept experiencing the overwhelming feeling that God would not have given me such a strong desire to create if he didn’t want me to follow it…but follow it where? And I was having a bit of an identity crisis when it came to creating. I knew I wanted to draw and paint, but I struggled with what to paint? Which medium? How could I choose? Everything I read told me to niche down so my style would stand out and be recognizable. Every artist educator I found said I should get really specific with my work, so it didn’t feel too all over the place. This made sense in my head, but my heart couldn’t handle it. I simply couldn’t imagine picking one subject matter, color scheme, or simple medium to create collection after collection. As you may have noticed with my many creative experiments mentioned in part one, I live for variety and change excites me.
Then one day I had a sort of epiphany. I realized that I can create whatever I want, however I want, alongside any other style or medium I want. It was when I finally realized I don’t have to follow anyone else’s rules, that I can create on my own terms with no restrictions, that I felt freedom…but how would I find the time between running kids to school and activities, going through moving boxes, setting up house, prepping for the holidays, and doing all of this while we swapped viruses and coughs in the dead of winter? Who was I to think I could succeed at this? There are so many other talented artists out there, and I didn’t know where to start.
I think it was no accident that this is when my husband bought me Ashlee Gadd’s book “Create Anyway”, and I devoured it. I had struggled with confidence and prayed about my purpose and what to do with these gifts for so long, and then I read Ashlee’s words, “In His grace, God gently pulls us off the ground, away from the crumbs, away from the myth of scarcity. He redirects us and guides us toward something better: a heart posture that trusts in His goodness, His sufficiency, and His abundance. One that believes God will always give us what we need, and then some, to do whatever holy work He’s called us to do.” (Create Anyway, p 88). I was so inspired and encouraged by every chapter of this book, and I highly recommend it. In chapter one, Permission Slip, Ashlee states, “One of the first things we learn about God in Scripture is that He created, and one of the first things we learn about ourselves is that we are made in His likeness. If God is the first artist-and we are a walking, breathing reflection of Him-this means our desire to create is hereditary, a fundamental imprint of His Spirit in us….From the very beginning, God calls us to be good stewards of His creation and invites us to co-create with Him.” (p. 29) If that isn’t truly a permission slip to create, I don’t know what is! This totally rewired my way of thinking about creating. I realized it isn’t a luxury or a reward when I get all the dozens of things checked off my list. It isn’t a treat or something to disregard as lesser work. It is a calling from God, and that explains why I feel the need to create so deeply.
It was so inspiring, and I began prioritizing time to create. I painted what I wanted, and explored things I hadn’t tried before. I pulled out favorite pieces from the past that I felt had never “fit” before. I researched, watched webinars, downloaded workbooks, studied which newsletter platform was best, and created a business plan. Abandoning my old method of paint it, post it, and hope for the best I feel more prepared than ever before. I still don’t have all the answers, and I am still figuring things out as I go, but I am so grateful for where I am in the journey…
...and I am glad you are a part of it.
“We have God-ordained creativity flowing inside of us. We have palms willing to open in surrender, hearts willing to obey when called. We have trust in an artistic God who has equipped us with curiosity, wonder, the perseverance to fail and try again. We have the humility to ask God for what we lack, along with the faith that He will provide.” -Ashlee Gadd, Create Anyway
XO,